Light, Nur, Cahaya, Luce

I was once in darkness,

walking aimlessly,

no where to go,

no where to return,

i dont if im lost,

but i cant be lost cause, 

i dont have a place to go

Then i saw a small light,

shining from across the room,

shining from far away,

but somehow I felt,

felt like the light is for me,

calling me,

calling my name,

I walked towards that light,

slowly,

but steadily,

the light shun brighter each time, 

I walk towards it,

steadily,

slowly,

but still,

I cant reach the light,

eventhough I'm quite sure that I'm suppose to get closer to it

Then i realised,

that light is not from there,

not really physical,

but not an illusion too,

it actually is reflecting upon,

shining,

hurting,

and healing my heart

from another heart

from the heart of a love

from the heart of pureness

(need more editing)

hahahahahahaha

ok, ni cm actually xsiap lgi........bleh ade double meaning gk mende ni......so, have a nice day........

What is Love Again?

After years of trial and failure

each and everyone was ought to be the one

each and everyone claimed to the one

but none of them is, since they have left me all alone again

Maybe its my fault for not being perfect

not being there every time she called my name

not making her feel better when she is down

not being the person she can indulge her love with

"Love", again what is it?

so many people claimed they know its true meaning

dictionary claims it like that, scientist claimed it like this

for something still very subjective and ambiguous

do we really need to know what "love" means?

so many people have claimed to feel it

so many people have very clear description of love

then again, for something this subjective and ambiguous

do we really need to make a description for it?

For me, love is very simple,

more simpler than 'falling in love at first sight'

more simpler than 'I think I liked her, so I say I love her'

and even more simpler than 'love is blind'

Mind me, love was never blind

the feeling itself cant be blind

cause we all can feel the love between us

even there is no scientific empirical measurement to prove this

Love is actually as simple as

two person who wants a relationship

want to be in a relationship

want it to be something special

and something they can go all out for

but it does not mean that

love is chemically induced

or through logical stratified

It can be as simple as,

both of us want a serious relationship

you want a guy who can make you happy

I want a girl that can give me the same feeling back

Love can occur anytime in our life

sometimes you will realize that

even after years of being in a relationship

I don't have that 'different' kind of feeling

when I was with my ex

maybe your right

but maybe you haven't realized that

what we are going through now

is as 'different' as it is

maybe this is love, two people loving each other

without any kind of obsession or infatuation which makes it 'different'

again, love is subjective and ambiguous dear

Not really knowing how to say it

I'm not really good in these kind of things afterall

but there is no harm in it

maybe one or two controversies but we can manage it

I don't really like to use the word love without serious consideration

but I'm considering you to consider the possibility of this

Plus, you don't really know

that i actually love you

long before you even know my name

long before I got to know you were in a relationship

but since that failed, I'm not jumping straight to the game

take your time, if you can save your previous relationship

try it, but if you are ready to move on to the next level

I'll be waiting for you, on the doorsteps to your heart

Again......n again.....n again

it's you I meant

it's you who I'm trying to be with

you may break my heart now

but come with me to a journey

I'll bring you to a place you never seen before

Bringing this nameless ship of us

to the rough seas of love..

ciao, buano giornata

You melted me!

I never had this feeling
This particular kind of feeling
That, its only you that make me warm
melting my iced heart
from the inside

I love you
and I wont ever hurt you
and I have my eyes on you
to see your lovely smile
with that two beautiful eyes
but the thing I love the most
is your heart more than anything

Its something pure
I was just a walking shadow
until you spark it up
with that warmth welcome
that wanna make me knock the doors of your heart
but I'm just scared that the door wont open

I wont stop trying
I wont stop loving you
I'd give anything
to make you mine
I'd do everything
to make sure everything goes right

I love you

she isnt real........i cant make her real....

she isnt real........i cant make her real....

(terselit lagu lak...haha)

slipknot-vermillion part2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBuLRGxaUEI

lalalalalalalalalalala

people call it to obvious
I call it direct approach.........hahaha


ciao, buano giornata

Happy Teachers Day

Hari pertama ku jejak ke alam ini, 
Diriku tidak tahu apakah yang ada disini,
apa untuk dipelajari,
dan apa untuk difahami


It always started with an introduction,
Like every 40 minutes of the first day,
Just getting tired of repeating my long name,
and getting that shocked look from my classmates,
eventhough they heard it the first time


Sejak hari itu,
banyak yang ku pelajari,
banyak yang ku fahami,
banyak yang ku lalui,
dan banyak yang ku mengetahui


In this place of success and failure,
there's always this entity who never stops,
like ghost who dont stop harrasing, and asking and make sure we do things for them,
to some, they are boredom and forceful,
but for me, their presence makes my day,
satisfying my thirst of knowledge,
my thirst of wisdom and the thirst of experience


Kekadang kesilapan boleh berlaku,
dan hilang punca untuk bergerak ke hadapan,
tetapi mereka ini sentiasa mencuba dan mencuba,
untuk mengajar, untuk melegakan dan untuk menyokong,
sesiapa sahaja yang datang dan meminta bantuan,
secara tidak langsung, mereka ini telah membantu diriku maju setapak ke hadapan


All the years in school,
All the 6 years in primary school,
All the 3 years in secondary school,
a special 2 years in ASiS,
and another one and the half years in cfsiium nilai,
helped me a lot, changed me a lot, make me understand a lot


So to who shall I give credit to all my achievements till today?
myself? Yes, but me alone, cant do all that,
without those entities who call themselves 'teachers',
without them, I cant go far in life, still going, hopefully to the peak


Happy Teachers Day, Selamat Hari Guru.....


Ok, to all teacher who read this, I know it sucks, but, I just wrote it like 5minutes ago, for all of you, mentioned or not, hopefully, this may at least make your day a bit brighter than yesterday.....

Names of the teachers I still remember...forgive me for forgetting, Im a human after all...haha

Pn Norli

Pn Zuraidah

Pn Saraswati

En Helmi

En Rizal

En Hafiz

(dan semua guru-guru SK La Salle (1) Brickfields)

Pn Normawati

En (xingt name but ingt muka, sorry)

(dan semua guru-guru SMK La Salle Brickfields)

Pn Zulina

Pn Hema

Pn Azlina(again xingt name)

Pn Chew

Pn Tan

Ustazah2

(dan semua guru-guru SMK Damansara Damai 1)

Pn Titiyaka

Pn Ding

Pn Azalina

Pn Marlina

En Allen

En Rijal

Pn Rohaya
En Adura

En Shahril

Pn Nor Ainun

Pn Tuan Norma

En Shafrin

En Zuri

En Ghani

En Badrul Hisyam

Ustaz Khairuddin

Ustaz Zulkifli

Pn Azura

and Cik Rosemawati yang tanpa die harapan la BM leh dpt A.......haha

(dan termasuk semua guru-guru Sm Sains Alam Shah yang masih mengajar di sane atau x)

and lastly lecturer2 kesayangan di cfsiium

Mdm Hidayah

Mdm Nursiah

Bro Azib

Maulana

Mdm Jeyashree

Bro Hasrul

Dr Ni'mat

Ustazah Mastura

Ustaz Azam

Ustaz Khaidir

Ustazah Farha

Sir Ismail Kassim

Mdm Khadijah

Bro Mohiyudin

Mdm Azlina

Xifu Naser

Madam2 yg ajar Level6

and Mdm Nordalela

Astrael

A couple of years have past by

All the memories and our precious

haven't yet been forgotten, but...

it's fading from day by day from my soul

And I don't know why, even

that relationship between us

faded to black

It's been hard to even imagine that lovely smile, carved from your gorgeous looks

It's also been hard for me to accept the 'fact' that we should not be together

That day, after a long period of time, I saw you

but what I saw is someone else, you were not the person I knew

You've changed, you're not the same person I gave my heart few years back

You were not the girl full of goodness and care anymore, but...

You've changed into a miserable being

I now have nothing left to do, either talk or act

to change you back to the one I fell for,the girl of my dreams and fantasy

but frankly.......you've changed......and I should too

Taking the past as a valuable experience to the future

the future where I've made plans for.....or likely.....

I don't know whats up there for me, In the dimensions of Time and Despair......

I should just say goodbye......

Goodbye to everyone and everything that bond us together

Goodbye to everyone and everything that separated us apart

Healing a broken with the broken

It's no easy task, but there should be help

I just need to open my heart and ask for directions

to be in a place, where I can smile and laugh again

taking hold of myself, and most importantly....being myself

The advice which I gave you......

use it for good and you will find your true-self, deep inside of you....

The clock is ticking, like it always will,

Think wisely and be a better human......,

the advice I gave myself

As the title suggest.... Astrael, the sorrowful......being the last and the most powerful bell in Garth Nix's Old Kingdom Series...... After reading the book, Lirael by Garth Nix, and is fascinated by the bell concept, I wrote a sorrow, heartbreak poem under the name Astrael..... it was January of 2007..... but then, only recently, this poem, after a few modifications here and there, reflects my recent break-up, and somehow, this is what im feeling and going through right now......again, this is one of my best poems, read it, n stay alive.....

ciao, buano giornata

Bidadari (Tajuk xle blah)

Ku terlihat seseorng,
Yang begitu indah paras rupanya,
Yang penuh sopan tutur katanya,
Bakkan seorang bidadari dari kayangan.

Setiap kali ku menatap wajahnya itu,
Bibirnya senantiasa terukir sebuah senyuman,
Yang cukup indah, sungguh menawan,
Bahawa sesiapa sahaja boleh tertarik dengannya.

Teratur manis kata-katanya,
Sungguh sopan serta merdu suaranya,
Tak penah ku terdengar suatu yang kasar,
Terucap melalui bibirnya yang bak delima merekah.

Tidak pernah ku berjumpa,
Seorang bidadari sepertinya,
Bagaikan emas yang baru disepuh,
Membuat hatiku ingin bersama dia

Masih mampu terukir sebuah senyuman,
Setelah perasaan ku telah diluahkan kepadanya,
Walaupun jawapan terakhir bukan seperti yang diharapkan,
Ku tetap harus menerimanya dengan hati terbuka

Tetapi walau berbagai-bagai cara ku buat,
Diriku tetap tidak dapat melupakan bidadari itu,
Melupakan cinta yang disemai dalam hatiku ini,
Sehingga dirku menjadi lemah dan kosong kini

Diriku bagai bayang-bayang semula,
Tanpa kehadirannya di sisiku, terasa kekosongan dalam jiwa
Tetapi niat untuk berpasrah tiada lagi,
Ku perlukan suatu peluang kedua

Terangi lah semula hidup ku ini,
Wahai si bidadari


sajak ni actually memang I wrote smbl teringt kt someone....but its a long time ago, but mende ni bleh dikaitkn kepada lgi 2org dalam hidup aku, n boleh dikaitkan ngn anezaki mamori aku.....hahahahaha, have fun....klu edit ckit da leh jd love poem dah,wlupun I did edit td.......hahahaha

p/s- xle ltk gmbr pn.....cmne korg wat ni?????


ciao, buano giornata

Senbonzakura

 
Tsikimi (watching the moon) while lying on my back,
In a sampan, following the current of the river,
"A full moon tonight", I said to myself,
Looking in front, this kawa(river) is dividing into two ways.
 
Migi ni(on the right) is full of sakura no ki (cherry tree),
Hidari ni (on the left) is with neon glows of buildings,
It seems my sampan is steering to migi (right) by itself,
Not thinking much, I just lie back down to watch that beautifull tski(moon)
 
In all of sudden,
A strong gush of kaze(wind), making me to sit back up,
The sakura no hana's(cherry blossoms) are flying all over the place,
Making me taking off my eyes from the tski (moon)above,
 
Both sides, it seem like I'm,
Being followed by senbonzakura (thousand cherry blossoms) that's it, ha ha;
A few it also drops into my sampan,
Got some pink ones, and got some in shiroi(white)
 
As I'm not so good in hana,(flower)
I just took one and experimented with it,
I tried smelling its scent,
I observed its structure,
Even counted its petals,
But I wakaru (realise) that it isn't what I should do
 
Hanami...(cherry blossom viewing/flower viewing)
Just watch those sakura no hana,(cherry blossoms)
Thousands of them, as though they're being controlled,
I just hope it couldn't cut me into two,
 
A strong change of kaze(wind) happens again,
This time it's facing towards me,
I closed my eyes, covered my face,
And when I opened my eyes,
I just couldn't shinjiru(believe) what I'm seeing,
Senbonzakura(thousand cherry blossoms) moving all around me,
As though it's protecting me,
My mind get blurred as I'm getting obsessed about it
 
I realise something after those sakura's (cherry blossom) are cleared from my mind,
My sampan is gaining speed,
Oh my god! , don't tell me it's a waterfall up ahead,
I tried to steer to the sides, but it's not working
 
Lastly, I took out my nitou kodachi,(nitou=twin/double, kodachi=a type of Japanese short swords)
Jumped off the sampan, struck it at the bottom of the kawa,(river)
Slowly, staying under the current, I move towards the sides,
Using those kodachi, step by step, holding my breath
 
Gut-tari (exhausted) by all that, I lied down,
And there's that beautifull tski (moon) again,
Maybe I just should stick with it from the start,
Then, another gush of kaze(wind) blows from behind me
 
A familiar kao,(face)
Even familiar hoho-emu,(smile)
"Owh, it's you" ,
"I never expect to see you here"
 
She walked nearer to the river bank,
Lowered that basket from her back, opens its lid
"Hey! , come and help me here!"
Chire Senbonzakura (Scatter Thousand Cherry Blossoms)
 
Thousands of cherry blossoms are scattered,
Falling down and floating on the kawa,(river)
"Is this how you call romantic?"
Somehow, we kissed under the moonlight
 

this is abt my obsessions abt japanese culture n their anime.... any bleach fan could recognise "senbonzakura"...hope u guys will njoy it

and, i do know how to spell beautiful....i just simply make it as "beautifull" as "full"....and this is not only a story-poem, it also have its seconds meaning/hidden meaning behind it.....u can decipher it as you want....

ciao, buano giornata

Happy Mothers Day

Mothers Day is around the corner.......so, im posting one of my old poem, i gave this to my mum when i was in form 5

Since the years before,
You're always there for me,
Helping, educating and raising me,
Without regretting the sorrows had been there.
 
There's no one like you,
Full with courage,
Filled with kindness,
Followed by a motherly figure.
 
Till this day,
I've never realised your sacrifices,
Feeling of loneliness when you're not here,
Never realise that you're only doing the best for me.
 
I was sad and sorrowful,
Stupid enough to think that you've forgotten,
Even the common everyone knew,
But realising that it's me who've forgotten.
 
I don't care if people say I don't love you,
It's just I don't know how to express it,
But trust me,
Deep inside of me, I've always love you.
 
Heaven is under your feet,
You're everything I've need, eventhough we don't think the same,
Making myself stand with both of my foot,
I'll make you proud as life lies within me